I already had an older cedar chest, handed down to me from my
father's mother. It had some old keepsakes in it--a framed pressed
flower, a Dutch Bible, a household expense record my grandpa had kept
long before I was born. To these treasures I added my mother's wedding
dress, my high school year books, and my daughter's handmade baby
dresses and blankets.
The new cedar chest ended up in the living room as storage for extra
blankets. Every once in awhile I glance at it and think I should use it
as a hope chest for my daughter.
My daughter is 14 now, and she's going to be grown up and moved out
before I know it. I've always toyed with the idea of giving her a hope
chest, but it seems so old-fashioned.
My daughter is a normal Christian teenage girl, trying to hold on to
her faith while living in a world that is constantly sending her mixed
messages. "Date," "Don't date," "Experiment," "Wait until you're
married." She and her friends struggle with these life-changing
decisions every day.
My daughter dreams of the day she gets married. She hopes to meet her
husband in college, settle down, and raise a family. Any choices she
makes along the way could change the outcome of her dream.
All she has to hold on to are "faith" and "hope." Faith that she will
be faithful to wait for the man God has intended for her, and hope that
her dreams of marriage will some day come true.
This is partially where the term "hope chest" originated. Originally
they were called wedding chests, but Americans later called them hope
chests as in "hope for marriage" and the promise of love and security.
If we as parents want to reinforce these values in our children, we
must come up with ways to get these ideas across to them without shoving
them down their throats. They have to share the dream with you and make
it their own.
One way to share your vision of your daughter's wedded future, is to
prepare a hope chest for her. Hope chests were traditionally used to
store hand-embroidered linens, to protect them until the bride was ready
to use them in her new home.
What you place in your daughter's hope chest is up to you and your
daughter. Handmade items seem to be the most meaningful. It would also
be a good place to store family photographs and albums for safe keeping.
When my daughter was about seven we started a tradition of buying her
a Christmas ornament every year. When she leaves home she will take with
her a collection of her own ornaments, each with a memory of a unique
year of her life.
I will give her the baby dresses and blankets, and any other
childhood mementos I have saved, like her birth sampler or favorite
childhood storybooks for her own children.
Anything your daughter takes with her will help her to make her new
house into a home. The memories she brings with her will be the start of
new memories in her own family.
The more you and your daughter can share the dream and the hope for
her future, the more likely she will be to hold on to the dream and
carry it into her adulthood.